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Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Clemens Has Bipolar Disorder

I have gotten a few requests to re-start this forum in light of the Nomar trade, but unfortunately there are far more serious subjects to be addressed. Namely, the descent into madness of our old friend Roger Clemens.

I know, I have villified Clemens as evil and such. But that was before yesterday when, from the Houston dugout, he was heard demanding apologies from the media for misreporting that he was kicked out of his son's game in Colorado. Now, that he sends his ten-year-old around the west to play baseball is troubling enough, though consistent with his trademark judgment. However, when he began joking with reporters and subsequently went on a foaming rant is when he laid bare his dangerously diseased mind for all to see. By the time he was finished, the erroneous reporting -- which stated he was noisily ejected when in fact he was somewhat quietly asked to leave -- was, in Clemens' eyes, "scary" and threatening to his family.

Now, I am not a psychologist. Let's get that right out in the open. But my diagnosis is that he has bipolar disorder. When Clemens quickly pivoted from a lighthearted discussion to a foaming rant, he exhibited one of the classic symptoms of bipolar disease, according to the National Institutes of Health. To wit:

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in a person's mood, energy, and ability to function. Different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through, the symptoms of bipolar disorder are severe. They can result in damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide. But there is good news: bipolar disorder can be treated, and people with this illness can lead full and productive lives.



Check it out: shifts in mood. Damaged relationships. Inability to function (remember his last two years in Boston?). It all fits. My understanding is that bipolar disorder has somewhat recently become understood after ages of people suffering from undiagnosed depression. It sounds unbearable, at least in its full-blown state. So perhaps Clemens suffers from only a mild case. You could also argue he is paranoid/schizophrenic. Maybe both: I cannot find any information suggesting the two afflictions are mutually exclusive. I don't want to quibble. Something is wrong, and we won't know what until he sees a doctor. This is a man in need of immediate attention. Every minute may count.

[/Sarcasm]

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